Madness, Matter, and Rambling Thoughts

It’s a bit surreal to think about all the changes in my life that have occurred since I created this blog. Sometimes it’s been a lifeline, a sounding board, or a way to release the tornado of thoughts in my head.

Sometimes its been the only thing in my life I’ve felt in control of or the one place I felt I had something to offer others.

Through relationship changes, family changes, job changes, and most importantly mental space changes, this blog has been with me. Just like the Alice in Wonderland quote, there’s no going back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

So where am I today? I still procrastinate, tik tok being one of my enablers but also offering insight too. The clip I caught today from Mel Robbins said people are not procrastinators, they have a procrastination habit, a habit driven by fear. Procrastination primarily reveals itself as delaying in starting something. If we set a goal to work for just 5 minutes, 80% of people who procrastinate will keep going. I do find that’s true on my treadmill. I set a goal for 10 minutes a day. Some days it’s tough to find the time and energy for that 10 minutes but I do my 10 and stop. More often than not though, I keep going. On the best days I find “the zone” and hit a new personal best.

This morning I helped someone in the Spot On group. It feels good to share, and I consider it paying it forward for all those who have helped me over time. I’m not good at asking for help, but when I do I’m very grateful for the people who assist me. Only once in a while do I chime into the support group. I’ve watched so many other group members assisting others – I learn new things and I’m also humbled. I feel that’s a good thing.

So, my main thought today on this Monday and first day of the week – what would make this an exceptional day?

I’ve been developing routines over time, finding that it eases my anxiety. Day to day home routines are the most “solid” right now – Monday is house reset, Tuesday is wipe down and telephone calls, Wednesday is wash laundry and water plants, etc. I don’t stress over the laundry pile because I know I’ll wash it Wednesday. I’ve been doing a lot of outdoor work – the yard, porches, garden have been neglected over time. I’m always trying to do more than what’s feasible as everything to be done outside swirls in my brain.

So, this raises two questions. Finishing my normal daily routine doesn’t make me feel like it’s been a sensational day. I feel satisfied (usually), trying to remind myself not to feel overwhelmed and that mopping is a Thursday thing.

So what does make the day feel like a sensational day? And second, if I develop routines in SL when does it feel like a task or chore instead of something I enjoy? When has a “want to” feel like it’s slipped into a “has to” – and is this related to the dread caused by procrastination? I think I quite often fall down the procrastination rabbit hole and when I finally pop up again I’m hitting against deadlines and rushing – and not experiencing the full joy of creating, etc.

Ha. I feel like this has been a long term bane of my existence (and topic in this blog) – procrastination. Maybe it’s not something I’ll ever be rid of though, like I always thought I should try to do. Maybe it’s part of my thought process that I have to learn to MANAGE. Maybe procrastination isn’t always a bad thing – by not starting right away something else occurred that shifted what I was going to do into something better.

So my deep thoughts of today are:

1. What will make today sensational? (Something I take action on)
2. Being present, what things feel like tasks, can I “be present” and enjoy it or am I just trying to get through it? Is it something I “need” to do? Is it related to anxiety, procrastination, compulsion?

Perhaps I should build a new rabbit hole or blue print. Maybe one of those hamster habittrails that has all the different rooms and spaces. A mental one. Time to play, time to rest, time to visit, time to explore…

Welcome to my madness!
~Eva

Bah, some mornings it’s much harder to get my head to switch to the “on” position. Even coffee isn’t working this morning. I’ve been working on my morning rituals and the headspace app is one thing that helps kick in the “ok, time to get going on the day!” feeling. Anyhoo, as I’m always working on my time management skills (or lack thereof) I tapped on the prioritization activity. And….

The word of the day is INTENTION

It totally smacked me upside the head with a big DOH! Why do I do the things I do, focus on what I focus on? The intention doesn’t have to be preparing for a marathon or anything, but it definitely shouldn’t be “because I always have”. Intention is a close cousin to motivation. If intention is “a determination to act in a certain way”, motivations is the “why” or “the reason(s) one has for acting for behaving in a particular way.

Every month or two I review my finances to see where my money goes – the AMC member movie card when I haven’t been to a movie in months, channel subscriptions that I don’t really watch, etc. Funny thing is, I haven’t done that so much with time. It gets filled up with stuff but for a long time I haven’t thought about the “why”. When I start unpacking the “whys”, it gets a bit bigger. I haven’t taught workshops in a while. Why do I want to teach? Why did I take a break? What was behind taking a break? Those are things I need to work through.

The other thought is – time is a lot like money. There’s only so much of it to spend. We’ve all heard that before I’m sure, but it doesn’t really hit us until we’re open and ready for it. I’ve been dipping my toes in the water of doing a “time checkup” and thinking about my motivation and intentions about things I do in both worlds.

But wait! There’s more! This can apply to creating a dance can’t it? What is my intention? What is my motivation? Without having an idea of the intention for my dance, it wanders all over the place. I work on it, drop it, completely change it. Struggle over it. I don’t need to have a firm vision for a dance, I like to leave some space for it to speak to me and evolve, but I need to have a motivation for creating it right? Something more than “I need to make it for <dance venue> to perform in two weeks.” If I tap into my motivation and create intention, then I can follow it with action.

So hmm…let’s think about this. I have a dance called Nocturnal Serenade that I’m reworking from a pit stage to a full sized stage. What is my motivation? What is it about this song that speaks to me. I feel a dark Victorian vibe, a bit vampiric. Innocence, beauty, black, red, fog that hides secrets, street lights shining over cobblestone. The song goes back and forth with longing and ferocity. In reworking this one for the full stage I have to change it. It was designed for a 360 view, not to face an audience. What is my motivation for the dance, and from that I can set my intention in what to do with it. By thinking through my intention, this overcomes the dominating mindset of “I have to finish this by x day”. Now I need to follow this with action, making it happen, which also follows setting my intentions for the day/week/month – don’t you think. Kind of deep thoughts there.

Hmm…also makes me think, what’s my motivation and intention for this blog. Is it still the same as when I created it? It definitely does need a facelift…

Happy dancing – and may you have good intentions (followed by great action)!
~ Eva

I was not dreaming about barbarians…although that might’ve been nice too…

Sometimes in that moment between sleep and waking, a thought so fully formed pops in my head that makes me think “oh, there you are!” and it just feels right. This morning it was about revamping the blog and how it needs recording snippets and lots of TLC. There’s a saying from Tony Robbins: “Energy flows where attention goes. What are you giving your energy to?”

I wish energy was a never ending well sometimes, but it’s more like a pot isn’t it? There’s only so much in there before it needs to be replenished. We can eat right, sleep well, take care of ourselves and grow the size of our pot but it’s still a pot. Some days my energy pot feels this big <holds fingers together to the teeniest tiniest amount>.

So, today as I become mindful about where I place by focus and flow my energy, I surfed YouTube for new music ideas. (Yeah, need to consider how often I do this. Files YouTube under the “procrastinating” category). I came across this great video and so many aspects spoke to me. Let’s see where it takes us:

The video: Ashes – Barbarians, by RB Dance Company

Often I’ll post videos like this and only touch lightly on what intrigues me/pulls me in. Today I totally want to spill the tea.

Highlight moments:

• simple set
• starts out with a solo dancer, dramatic pauses
• dancers enter from the back through the darkness (not walking through walls!)*
• bold dramatic moves
• formation changes
• animation changes that match music change to drumbeat
• dancers pulling together during spoken section then bold explosion of movement and spreading out during music change
• Strong finish

First thought of so many may be: but we can’t do this in SL. My answer? Why not?

Unless we own our own mocap studio we can’t perform those exact moves – but there are so many animations in SL that would fit this music. Bold, sweeping, minimal…I challenge you that you could. We have fog to work with, shadow prims, mover systems for formations, dramatic poses.

Not all music and not all dances will speak to everyone, but this performance spoke to me – I could feel it, and those drum beats rattled my bones. The movement was powerful and interesting, the formation changes drawing my eye. So much good stuff in this dance performance, inspiration that can easily be brought into the world of SL.

Should we mimic in SL? Nope, definitely not. But I find so much inspiration in RL choreography videos.

Happy dancing!
~ Eva

Over the last few days, I’ve been questioning two beliefs that I’ve always held true – is it possible to be independent and that a teacher can teach anything. What brings about these doubts? Dance systems in SL. I love tools, and I will use any tool that allows me to do more and/or makes things easier. Exploring what MetaHarpers can do has been on my list. I’ve been asked so often about MST that I planned on teaching it too.

MetaHarpers and Spot On both provide complete dance performance systems for SL. Everything from dance animations/choreography, movement, rezzing sets, creating dance routines to control an entire performance, and more.

For MetHarpers, the key component is MetaHarpers Show Tools (MST) which consolidates most everything using this one system and is the only tool needed for dance performances. They also offer two different Choreo HUDs, a Dancers edition and a Directors edition. The dancers edition can be used to create dance sequences or freestyling up to 80 people.

Spot On offers separate tools for each function – Smooth Dancer HUD for animations, Choreographer Design System or Formation System for dancer movement, Stage Manager for rezzing sets, and Performance Director for easily creating routines and controlling all of these functions from one HUD.

Both systems have their strengths, weaknesses, and things one can do but the other can’t. MetaHarpers has controlled audience view (cams) which allow you to control what the audience sees, creating a unique experience. Spot On seems to be better at moving movers larger distances such as understage to onstage. Neither is “bad”, neither is the “right one” or “wrong one” to use. I feel like Dr. Seuss and the “Sneetches” story:

Now, the Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.
Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small.
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.

But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
And, whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.

One of the dance groups I belong to is moving to everyone using MST for performances. I must say, I’m starting to like the Dancers Edition Choreo HUD for freestyling and inviting people. With up to 80 dancers, I’m definitely looking at it hard for running crowd dances. It might be an improvement from what I’m using now.

For dance performances, I use Spot On. I love Spot On. I’ve used it for years, I know it, I’m comfortable with it. In a recent workshop, I shared info about a number of different tools – dance systems, animation HUDs, rezzers, etc. Do you know what I found? I unintentionally highlighted the Spot On tools and was more lackluster about the MetaHarpers tools. That definitely isn’t what I call independent. Is it because I don’t feel comfortable with MST? Know it as well?

When there are two competing systems and you are an avid user of one of them – is it possible to teach both systems equally? or will I always highlight the “weakness” of one over the other? Is it better to learn MST from someone who is as passionate about MST as I am for Spot On? Is it doing a disservice to others that may find the other system is a better tool for them but were perhaps dissuaded by my approach?

I’ve heard comments from MST users that were a lot like the Sneetches. That because they used MST it was somehow considered “less” or “not as good” as using Spot On. They were judged based on this fact. They didn’t have “stars on thars”. The Sneetches had a good message on that.

In dance – should the tools really matter? I don’t think so. What should matter is what someone creates, whether they use two spoons and duct tape or the fanciest dance system available to get there.

While I don’t believe I’ll teach MST at this time, I’m now aware of my unconscious emphasis of Spot On when communicating about different tools and can consciously even it out.

Learn from others, explore, research, try the different tools available – and make up your own mind. Don’t let someone else’s passion (or lack there-of) about a system be a factor in your decision.

To all the Sneetches, stars on thars or not, happy dancing!

~ Eva

I’ve missed rambling here, one of the reasons I created this blog. Have you ever had so much packed into your brain that you spun in circles not knowing wear to begin? Yep, that.

For me, SL is an extension of me. No matter how hard we try I’m not sure we can truly separate RL from SL. I am who I am, my thoughts and feelings still me in both worlds. What I share and with whom are very different however – the goofy fun DJ side I can let loose in SL…not so much RL. (They’d up my medication) Dance and creating in SL is an extension of my personal art. Dancing in the kitchen is about as close as I get with that in RL.

My point is…the motivations, drive, unconscious fears that sometimes stop me in my tracks are the same in both worlds. Whether it’s learning new skills for work or creating in SL, both are testing my boundaries. I procrastinate in both (imagine that…ha).

I’ve been reading/listening to a book on “Deep Work” (which isn’t just for work). It’s recognizing that space where you are intensely focused and find your most creative and thinking self. It’s about how we as a society have begun to lose this ability.

To reach in and find that technicolor place where imagination and deep thinking roam free generally takes a recommended 90 minute block of time without the “quick satisfaction” distractions such as checking facebook/emails/etc. that draw our attention away.

I find that I procrastinate relaxing into creativity more often than not…looking at my list of to do’s which is 80% easy things that make me happy when I cross them off the list. I can say “see what I did today?” and point to all those items. Some are pretty necessary – wash dishes, pay bills, grab that Abranimations advent calendar gift, but others could wait.

The other thing I sometimes do? Schedule so many commitments that time isn’t left to really focus and create something new that makes me really happy. Some of my favorite dance performances have come together pretty easily, others have been evolution over weeks and months. The key to those? For each I sank into that deep space where creativity took over and I stopped overthinking or rushing.

So today, I let my mind drift and consider my motivations. What makes me happy when I create? What feeds me? What inspires me? This applies to dance, work, and even home. Finding these helps me find the key to unlocking the door and stepping into that creative space – instead of distracting myself browsing the news websites.

May your imagination fly free and creativity abound.

Due to RL juggling and Halloween madness, the 10/24 & 10/28 workshops have been rescheduled to Wed 11/4 and Sat 11/7. Note: there will now be 2 different workshops each week, both offered on Saturdays and Wednesdays.

Wed Nov 4th @ 4:30 pm & Sat Nov 7th @ 10 am:

Creating Dance in a Virtual World: Choosing Music

During this workshop it’s all about the music! We explore different styles of music, transitions, pauses, the audience, ideas, inspiration, and soooo much more!

Length: 1 hour
Everyone welcome!

Wed Nov 4th @ 6:00 pm & Sat Nov 7th @ 8:30 am:

Spot On Smooth Dancer Animation HUD Class 1: I Wanna Dance!

Let me introduce you to the Smooth Dancer! During this hands on workshop we focus on the basics – loading animations, inviting others to dance, playing animations, how to reinvite and remove dancers. We also review what it can do and why it comes with a toolbox!

Goal: Feel familiar with your HUD and ready for a second date!

Length: 1 hour

Everyone welcome! Smooth Dancer HUD not required!
Prefer to listen and follow along? Comfortable seating is provided!

Sat Nov 14th @ 8:30 am & Wed Nov 18th @ 6:00 pm:

Spot On Smooth Dancer Animation HUD Class 2: Creating Sequences

Sat Nov 14th @ 10 am & Wed Nov 18th @ 4:30 pm:

Creating Dance in a Virtual World: Choosing Animations

Sat Nov 21st @ 8:30 am & Wed Nov 25th @ 6:00 pm:

Spot On Smooth Dancer Animation HUD Class 3: Tips & Tricks

Sat Nov 21st @ 10 am & Wed Nov 25th @ 4:30 pm:

Creating Dance in a Virtual World: Transitions

———————————————————————

Late arrivals for Activity Workshops:

If arriving after an activity workshop has begun, please find a seat to listen and follow along. Kindly minimize disruption as possible. Thank you!

Disclosure: Harleyquin Learning Center isn’t affiliated with or receives compensation from any dance tool creator. Expanded tool workshops are planned for the future. Use whatever tools work for you and always keep an open mind!

I’m always on the hunt for tools and tricks to make things easier or better, and this is one thing that’s been on my list for a looong time. So what is it?

Animation Name Printer

It’s an inexpensive script that you add to your animation HUD. Click on your HUD and it will list all the animations in local chat, then the script self-deletes.

But didn’t Spot On add this to the Smooth Dancer HUD, you ask? Well they did, but each animation name is in a different chat message, so you get all that date/time/hud name junk before the name of the animation.

This hud lists 30 animations in each chat message until it’s listed all animations. No junk stuff to erase/ignore/trim off! Just animation names!

Why would I use this? When I’m creating sequences, I load up a HUD with animations that I think will work then create the choreography as I listen to the music. As I create my sequence notecard, now I have a nice clean list of animation names to copy and paste from.

Easy peasy.

<pictures here>

You heard it right – Harleyquin workshops are back with a remix! What’s a remix, you ask? Taking the best pieces, shaking up the environment, and putting a fun and playful spin on things!

LM: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bluebell%20Island/59/72/3403

Coming up in October:

Sat Oct 3rd @ 10 am & Wed Oct 7th @ 6 pm:

Creating Dance in a Virtual World: Music, Movement, Message, and the Kitchen Sink

During this workshop we look at some of the key elements in creating a dance: choosing music, animations, movement and tools, the dance message and connection with the audience, costumes and sets, special effects and particles

Length: 1 hour
Everyone welcome!

Sat Oct 10th @ 10 am & Wed Oct 14th @ 6 pm:

Creating Dance in a Virtual World: Dance Tools for Animation, Movement, and Coordination

During this workshop we talk about different types of dance tools, a suggested process for learning, and tools available from Spot On, MetaHarpers, and Barre.

Sat Oct 24th @ 10 am & Wed Oct 28th @ 4:30 pm:

Creating Dance in a Virtual World: Choosing Music

During this workshop it’s all about the music! We explore different styles of music, transitions, pauses, the audience, and soooo much more!

Length: 1 hour
Everyone welcome!

Sat Oct 24th @ 8:30 am & Wed Oct 28th @ 6 pm:

Spot On Smooth Dancer Animation HUD Class 1: I Wanna Dance!

Let me introduce you to the Smooth Dancer! During this hands on workshop we focus on the basics – loading animations, inviting others to dance, playing animations, how to reinvite and remove dancers. We also review what it can do and why it comes with a toolbox!

Goal: Feel familiar with your HUD and ready for a second date!

Length: 1 hour

Everyone welcome! Smooth Dancer HUD not required!
Prefer to listen and follow along? Comfortable seating is provided!

Stay Tuned for November!

Late arrivals for Activity Workshops:

If arriving after the workshop has begun, please find a seat to listen and follow along. Kindly minimize disruption as possible. Thank you!

Disclosure: Harleyquin Workshops aren’t affiliated with or receive compensation from any dance tool creator. Expanded tool workshops are planned for the future. Use whatever tools work for you and always keep an open mind!