My brain feels like a bit of mushiness this morning (wow, mushiness is a real word!) – all these thoughts swirling around over this one thought…this one idea.  Actually, I think it’s a bunch of ideas that want to be put together, quotes from various sources and thoughts in my own head.

First, one  of my biggest vices – that morning cup of fresh brew.  A shout out to all Canadian’s – it’s Tim Horton’s today.  On to deep thoughts <cues the SNL deep thoughts music>

Misc quotes and thoughts:

Challenge yourself, take your dance creations to the next level.  Identify weak areas and make them stronger.  Tighten choreo and transitions, learn a new tool (like the formation system for me), imagine deeper, try new things, new approaches, new ideas.  Give yourself time to create the best you can and to enjoy the process.  Rushing usually never leads to anything good.  Step out of your comfort zone. 

Lighting is a weak area for me, something I haven’t really learned or focused on – which could make a huge impact on my dances, hmmm….

Take fear out of the mix.  I love listening to motivational videos while I work and so many just hit the target as if the speakers are in my head.  So often fear holds me back.  Fear that I don’t measure up, that I will upset someone, that I can’t do it.  Fear of change.  I give up before I even start.

My new favorite quote:  Excuses only sound good to the person making them. 

Next time I start making an excuse for why I couldn’t do something, I’m going to think about this.  Sometimes things are out of our control.  Real life needs to come first, emergencies happen.  Sometimes it’s because I didn’t plan well, I procrastinated, I wasn’t “feeling it”…and sometimes I’ve let people down because of it.  One instance I can never make right, which cuts me to the bone…and leads to

Forgive yourself.  In my case above, there’s no way I can make it right, there’s no excuse that justifies not accomplishing what I said I could.  I realize now what contributed to my failure in that task.  I can dwell on the failure, or I can overcome my weaknesses and strive to make sure it never happens again.  I can take what I learned from this and share with others, so that perhaps they don’t struggle as I did.  That they don’t put blocks in their own way to prevent success.  In this way, I can honor her, and honor myself.

One of my biggest personal challenges….it’s ok to say no.  It’s ok to walk away.  It’s ok to set boundaries, to take care of yourself first.  To remove yourself from toxic people and situations.  Be realistic with what you can accomplish.  It is much better to say no in the beginning, than to say yes and do less than you could, or stress yourself trying to do it all.

Finally, plan measurable steps and commit to them.  Focus.  I know there is more I can learn, a part of my imagination that I haven’t tapped into yet.  Without committing to taking a step, in six months I will be saying these very same things.

In creating a new habit  – make it tiny.  Commit to one step, one minute, just one.  We can all take that one minute – to unpack a tool, to stretch, to meditate for just one minute.  That minute becomes easy…and becomes two minutes.  I tend to be a person of extremes, toe in the water or jump in from the high dive.  This can hold me back, but I can do one minute – I know I can.

The tighter you try and hold on to something you are afraid of losing, the more you are pushing it away.  The people in your life, a group that’s transitioning, your “place” in the hierarchy.  The fear of being less important, unnecessary, invisible, forgotten, failure.  I know it hurts like hell, I know I struggle with this, but I know too that new opportunities arise when I let go.  This is a challenge for me…every single day, in both worlds.

Final thought:

“As you take the next step, and the next, your greatest defense against stress, frustration and defeat is your inherent ability to choose one thought over another.  Remember this.  If you look for reasons to be disheartened – if you look for reasons to give up and give in – you’ll find plenty of them.  Look instead for reasons to be positive, and see them everywhere.  Then carry on.”

New posts and information coming.  Working on those blocks in my life.  

Me.  Not better than others, not less.  Different, in my own way.  I accept myself for who I am.

Breathe.  Live.  Be.

Always,
   ~ Eva