I sit and ponder…while I should be doing other things.  What inspires you when you don’t feel inspired?  There are moments when I’m among so many things I love and enjoy, but none of them draw me in at the moment.  A jump start is the first thing that comes to mind – perhaps a human version of the car battery life bringer.  Then I realize that’s a taser and quickly change my mind…

Perhaps a bit of recreational shopping? … then I’m reminded my inventory is full of recent purchases waiting to be organized.  Amazon?  The UPS driver would think it an odd day without stopping at my house after a recent flurry of purchases.  Did you know you can get pencils automatically delivered every three months?  Sign me up!

Seven dances begun, an additional three to create over the coming months.  Each individually are incredible to lose myself within, but at the same time feel like puppies vying for my attention.  One will sing its siren’s song tonight I know, and I will blindly, willingly, heed its call.  One by one I will do the same until each box is sealed and the ribbon tied. At times, I reach a point where a dance creation frightens me..or frustrates me.  Can I make what I see in my head?  Is it too complex?  Too much?  Too simple? blech…a question for another time.

At the moment?  My head says “no thinking allowed”.  Just breathe….so I do.

So many times the words “new beginnings”, “transitions” are bandied about.  I know, because I often do.  Recently, every day feels like a reinvention of myself.  Finding a sense of order.  Balance.  Peace.  Beauty.  Creativity.  Connection.  Boundary.  Fulfillment.  Personal Satisfaction.

Ahhh….perhaps that is part of the mystery.  Personal satisfaction.  Do I leave time enough for personal satisfaction?  Do I hold those moments in my hand and say yes, this is just how it should be?  Truly appreciate the art I create in this world of dance?  or – is an apology always on the tip of my tongue?

I need order and routine.  I need to feel things are falling into place.  A place for everything and everything in its place.  What of time?  Perhaps this statement also applies.

<doo doo doo doo do doo>

and my brain at the moment?