Well, not really – but I’m back!  I really did need that respite during June – and it’s amazing fun to dance with other choreographers!  Don’t get me wrong, I love choreographing for myself – but there’s something special about being part of someone else’s imagination.

I almost wax poetic just thinking about it.  For some choreographers, my favorite ones, you can tell what they create is pure art, imagination, passion, emotion…and dancing within that is just absolutely magical.  SL provides us the opportunity to step into someone else’s wonderland and experience it – whether through a dance, a sim, or a piece of art.  There’s such wonder in sliding on that costume they’ve chosen, and entering the world they’ve created of music, animations, characters, and design.  This is something that is nearly impossible for most of us in RL.

Funny how when I put fingers to keyboard, this isn’t what I planned to write but sometimes my mind has different ideas.

I hope many know that I don’t perform for the applause, teach for adoration (ha!  as if…lol).  It is the magic – pure and simple.  This past week I’ve been brought to tears as I watched a solitary feather floating to the ground, been absolutely astounded at the creativity and coordination at an LEA event, and drawn into the story – my breath held in anticipation – as fierce women battled their way through before making their daring escape.

Perhaps the one that resonates with me the most is being a statue, brought to life…accompanied by a song so deeply moving, emotionally haunting.  The dance exquisite, inspiring chills, and I’m so very honored to have been part of it.

Before my break, I felt I lost a bit of of that magic, the dancers in my head going still – me dashing from one deadline to the next…not feeling.  Listen to the words.  Are they of two lovers? or perhaps that connection to inner light, inspiration, imagination – surmounting the darkness inside, the blank page waiting for creativity that fails to come.  We go through the motions, but are we truly there?  Or like the statue, have we been immobilized until we are awoken?  A spark shared from another, the spark inside that we find a way to kindle ourselves and nurture, a shift.  Awakened.

I recently struggled through creation of a dance, not yet complete, and realized…it came from the logical side of my brain, not creative.  I kept tossing things at it – like a Meatloaf song (who I adore btw).  But I could feel what I created, I stood back and looked, and I didn’t like what I saw.  Not because of the textures or the set pieces, but because there was no heart and soul in it.  If I couldn’t feel the deeper connection, other than a slight grazing with the music, how would others feel watching it?

I watched an amazing TED video yesterday, the video different than what I expected, but the basic premise was this.  You make time for what matters.  For me, that goes a step further when it comes to creativity.  When I travel down the wrong road, lose that connection to my vision and a piece of music, lose myself because I’m making it too complicated, then time slips away and fills with other things.  I’ve taken a turn into the deep, dark, spooky woods and need to find my way out again – which only I can do.

I realize some of my favorite acts almost came together on their own, and others were a struggle.  There’s a difference between effort in creation and struggle.  Struggle to me means forcing a dance, when dance is meant to flow.  It is then that I go back to the beginning, that I listen with an open mind and an open heart – and I create not what would be “cool” or what is “expected”, but purely from imagination and passion.  In turn, I believe the most amazing things are created outside of our comfort zone, but again, that I see as a challenge, not a struggle.

It feels good to be getting back into a rhythm, to breathe deep again, to laugh and lose myself in wonder.  To focus on the balance and look at what I’m creating – and to know when I hit that creative wall, why I have.  To feel.

I am so very grateful for the people who have been patient with me, supported me, and gave me another chance when I fell down.  I make no excuses.  I am not perfect.  I pick myself up, look within, and find my own personal roadblocks and also the inner passion that drove me me to begin with.  Thank you, to all of you, that are part of my world.

Believe in yourself, trust in yourself.  Don’t try.  Be.

~ Eva