A dear friend has made a difficult but wonderful choice for her, changing her focus and direction, and embracing new things. I am so very proud of her.
The world evolves, things transition, people leave your life and new ones come in. We evolve. I remember when I was in my 20’s that I thought by the time I was in my 40’s I’d have everything figured out. Nope, didn’t happen. I continue to explore, to learn about myself, fall down and brush myself off.
My biggest questions and challenges right now? Learning to say no. Learning what makes me happy, what I find fulfilling (two different things!). Exploring new skills and building on the ones I have. Working on my tendency to withdraw into my “inner sanctum” – leaving others to wonder where I went.
Most of all, I awoke today thinking about my priorities. What is important to me? How do I want to focus my time?
Reading a book recently, I stumbled over a new term – “micro obsession”. My jaw dropped and I know I said “wow” aloud. Bells rang and angels sang. A micro obsession is basically becoming absolutely and overwhelming consumed with something. It pulls attention away from other things, consuming our thoughts and even our dreams. aka – total opposite of balanced.
I’m not sure when having this tendency (which I always called “jumping in with both feet, and hands, and head, and every other body part”) began, but it was definitely way back when AOL and dial up were the norm, or before. Want an example: I’d become infatuated with Revolutionary War Reenacting – I think I saw it on tv or read a book. I loved camping, I was a scout leader, I love traditional ways and the colonial period always resonated with me. I went to events, joined a reenacting group, began studying everything I could get my hands on, made clothing for my boys and spouse. (and me of course.) It was always in the back of my mind – go to a flea market? I’d look for wooden bowls to fit the period. I went to a work conference and lugged a suitcase of fabric so I could work on the cold weather breeches for my boys.
Eventually, things shifted. Katrina hit, gas prices rose through the roof. I couldn’t afford to drive all up and down the east coast. My son was at the age where he’d join the ranks and spend more time with the men, but things didn’t click and it created anxiety for me. Did I tell you I skated with a roller derby team for a while? Fresh meat. That ended when I broke my tailbone. It was amazing while I was involved, then it passed. (Though I still have the goal to get back on my speed skates at the local roller rink).
Some of these micro obsessions have settled into “normal” passions in my life – camping, incorporating elements of my time ‘living’ in the colonial period, quilting.
When you step away from something, or jump off the treadmill, it gives you time in that “cooling off” period to determine what you really want. You. Not expectations, or “have to’s”, but what is fulfilling. For me here in SL, I have my hobbies – plantpets, DFS farming (I have chickens RL too), teaching, and dancing.
Who you talk to, who you focus on, is all an investment of energy and time. I have no patience for rude people, or pushy people, and I don’t date in SL. I’m too nice – not fair to them or me.
So today, I’m cleaning out the clutter – in my house and in my head. I’d say my inventory but you wouldn’t see me for 3 years. Searching youtube for house cleaning inspiration videos – do you believe they have them? Mine could use a deep clean, but *definitely* need inspiration for that.
Thank you to those who have been so supportive of me, who believe in me, and who have been so very patient. Many of you may not even know what an inspiration and impact you have made on my life, even with the briefest of exchanges.
I feel good, and inspired, passionate, and hopeful. There is no limit to the number of new beginnings you can have.