Our dear friend Willy Wonka actually said “nonsense”, but this morning it is musings that drift through my brain.
All of us are creative in our own way, our outlet unique, but perhaps we all have the same constant challenge. The ideas that constantly spin within our creative mind, works in progress, those little things you look for that make what you construct just right. In a way, it’s that creative high I love most. When you completely lose yourself in the creation, when everything fades away and you just feel it, you connect to it. You almost need it… This goes far beyond deadlines, commitments, the external pressure you may at times feel to “deliver”.
Going back to the source, finding that spark, and the raw deep down need and reason why you do what you do…I have to find my way back to that at times.
It is so easy to get lost along the way, until you almost don’t recognize your creative self beyond brief glimpses. Perhaps it is distractions, feeling disheartened, procrastination. Ahh…procrastination. That anxiety inducing non-action that seems to be a frequent challenge of mine personally. Toss out what you have heard, your own misconceptions. You aren’t lazy, disorganized (well maybe, but that’s generally not the issue here), not talented enough.
It is fear. A fear of failure. That what we create won’t live up to what is in our minds. The fear of being judged and found lacking. The belief that we just can’t do it. The overwhelmed feeling we may have as we really start contemplating how to bring our imagination to life. We may putter, skirt the edges, but not dive into the creation and lose ourselves within it. Our mind holds something back, that full commitment.
Ahhh…but at times, it is not procrastination OR fear. I have often said that when you lose yourself within a creation, pouring out your heart and soul within in, it is like a love affair between the creator and their art. There will come a time, and should come a time, when you feel within your bones that it is done. No more to be added, no more tweaks or little adjustments. Any more would disturb the overall performance. Have you ever felt exhausted, drained, after completing a performance? No…not because you’ve spent the last 40 hours with 3 hours sleep finishing it…but because you’ve given of yourself completely into the art, you’ve pushed past your comfort zone, your doubts and fears, climbed any mountains you need to climb…and finished it. It was exhilarating, fulfilling, and now is the time to recharge your batteries.
I recently contemplated my existence in this world, at at times when I’m really brave my existence in RL too. I am so much more than a creator. I am me. I want to experience different things, connect with others, explore, laugh, and be silly. Creating is a facet of me, but not my entirety.
These words blow through me as a cool breeze does on a beautiful sunny day. A reminder of why I do what I do, of balance and purpose. I realign my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions to reflect on this and return to my path…and feel at peace once again.
Your path is your own, always.